


Best Times at the Worst of Times

by orphan_account



Series: This Misery Changes Every Memory, This Happiness Taints My Darkest Days With Glory. [20]
Category: 8 Out of 10 Cats RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: M/M, Pain, Suicide, valentines day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-12
Updated: 2012-04-12
Packaged: 2017-11-03 12:45:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/381477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Valentines Day and Jimmy's not having the greatest time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Times at the Worst of Times

**Author's Note:**

> Basically this was inspired by a picture Carrnage showed me that I have now misplaced... but heheh.. anyway... whatever. :) I'm not really sure what tense this is in because it kept looking weird to me until I edited it beyond recognition so... whatever...

Jimmy had low points in his life, as did David. Points so low that Jimmy could not think of anything but how badly he wanted it all to end, how desperately he wanted it to be over. This is one of those times. 

David never forgets walking into the hotel room and finding it dark and quiet, Jimmy sitting on the floor with his back against the door, an empty coffee cup beside him. David never forgets how empty Jimmy’s eyes are as he stares off into nothing. 

Jimmy forgets easily that on the 14 of February he’d been ready to end it all, forgets about the vial of poison that had sat in his pocket, forgets about the coffee he’d planned to dose that he’d drank instead. He forgets but David doesn’t. David remembers the door closing softly behind him and the world collapsing moments before he realizes that Jimmy is still breathing, still living, alive. 

Jimmy remembers curling into David on the couch to watch crappy romance movies and chat until he fell asleep. David remembers carrying Jimmy to bed, undressing him and finding burns on his arms. Jimmy remembers David kissing him and saying ‘I love you’ at Midnight and all throughout the movies. David remembers Jimmy whispering ‘I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve to watch me dying on the floor; I couldn’t do it’ as he fell asleep.

Jimmy remembers waking up and going for coffee early the next morning while David slept, he remembers the lovely little note he wrote David about where he’s gone and how he thinks they should have a second Valentines and go out to a nice fancy restaurant. David remembers waking up the next day and having a heart attack when he realized Jimmy was not in the bed beside him nor was he anywhere else in the Hotel. Jimmy remembers coming back to the Hotel to find David fast asleep on the couch, he remembers leaning down to kiss him until David woke up, he remembers handing over the breakfast muffin and coffee he’d gotten for his lover and sitting down beside him to curl up as they watched the morning news. David remembers watching Jimmy and how he denied all the offerings of food David made him, remembers how Jimmy shied away and went quiet when David asks what had happened the night before, remembers how he struggled to trust leaving Jimmy alone again, for fear that Jimmy would go through with it next time.

Jimmy remembers all the happy things from that day and the days after because he can’t afford to remember the bad things, remembering the bad things would mean acknowledging that he’d reached a point where he just didn’t see a way through, and he has to always see a way through. Remembering the bad things would mean acknowledging that he reached a point where David couldn’t ease his pain anymore, and if David can’t ease his pain anymore then Jimmy is obviously falling out of love with him and he can’t bear to stomach that for even one second. So he forgets and just remembers all the good things, because he can’t have it any other way.

David remembers all the bad things from that day and the days that followed because he can’t afford to remember the good things, remembering the good things means acknowledging that Jimmy was so great at hiding his pain that he could attempt, or even think about attempting suicide and then smile and cuddle and giggle mere hours later. Remembering the good times means David constantly has to question whether or not Jimmy is really happy or if he is just hiding, and if he is just hiding, David has to understand that Jimmy is slipping away from him, from life. So David forgets and remembers all the bad things, because he never wants to accept that Jimmy’s slipping away, because he doesn’t think he could cope with having to say goodbye to a coffin slowly sinking.

**Author's Note:**

> The picture was of Jimmy with his back against a wall and an empty cup sitting next to him on the floor and he looked upset... so whatever.. here it is. 
> 
> I'm hoping I make a happier one after this but... *shrugs* Angst and dark things are my specialty..


End file.
